There are times you just let things be and focus on what’s available. I, on the other hand, don’t really get stressed on all the matters; instead, I just sit quietly in one dark corner of my brain reflects on what I should be doing next to ease my day.
This, many at times, has helped me cross rivers of doubts, oceans of fear and lakes of low self esteems. This is an apathy and I have decided to live with or without pestering around looking for a shoulders that are not there to lean on.
Talking of shoulders, it could be from a friend or a family: you know there are three types of friends, don’t you?
There are those who moulds you to become a better person, those who destroy you and those who waits to celebrates with you.
Same thing with families. We have rebellious types, the patriots and the two in one; as in, those who are rebellious and patriotic about their families. My aunt is that one complete package of all those things in one. So since I didn’t have a father to call on the Father’s Day, it’s up to you my readers to let you know that she has always played the role of a father in my life. So here is the letter I have written to her. By the way, she doesn’t read or write; but is that a barrier to keep me away from expressing how much I feel about her?
Dear Father Figure,
This is my utmost love I have for you as my father, big sister, a role model, and second mom. I write. I know you don’t know what writing is. I, too, have no idea how they called a writer in Dinka. Anyway, does it really matter? I don’t think so because writing is not a career anymore. It’s for passing time because I am from a lazy generation. If I don’t write at my free time, who knows, maybe I would be a cattle raider, bank robber or rapist (God forbid!).
You have been a good friend, a mentor, and a father to me. I know feminists will applaud me for this when they come across this but I’m not doing it for them, dad. I’m doing it for myself, and for you. Remember when I told you last time; that I want to have a daughter as my first born and you said you want a son for me because you want my son to feel the hollowness that was created by your brother's demise? Well, the reason why I did or want to do that is because I want to have another you in me. We’re two people of different worlds. And when you live in your house, I will be with another version of you in my house. I pray she inherits your traits so that when you’re not with us, she will be your ambassador me and her mother.
Dad, you have done so much that I don’t think I will ever repay back. I know African aunts have always been headache but you’re an exceptional. You have been pain reliever. I know you don’t like me with afro hair, in fact, you have ever forced me to shave it because you thought I will go astray. When you realizes that I was following the teaching of the world, you dropped and accepts me the way I am. I don’t know now what you will do when you see my locks grow though they're still up facing heaven. Anyway, I am not going to cut it. I hope you will understand that you and I are people of different worlds and neither my locks nor the type of a woman I will marry would ever slide share of love I have for you. Haha. Anyway, that’s a story of another day. If I am still supporting Arsenal after years of disappointment, what will ever make me change? Nothing!
Dad, you don’t know how much you mean to me. You have always love me equally with your children. I sometimes wonder why you have vested your entire budget of love and give it to me all? Anyway, I’m an aunt boy and I love it.
The other day I told a friend of mine that my aunt can get sick when she miss me, he tried to disputes it. Thinking I was lying. This guy doesn’t even know that we talk everyday like new couple.
You’re forty-six, mom is forty-nine. I haven’t seen any gray hair on neither of you. Do you know what worries me? That one day you will grow old and when I come home to see you with my two daughters and one son (inshallah), you will start asking me who I am and what I’m doing in your house. Even if old age is gold, I’m not buying that mineral just to risk you to old age. I hope I will meet marry a woman with 8GB RAM to accommodate both you, me and Arsenal.
You and mom are very religious unlike to me who thinks Christianity is a business with beautiful name. Dear dad, don’t give up on me. I’m just a young man trying to explore the world. I hope, the other traits I have inherit from your brother and you, I will make an impact when I'm at your age.
Good health, happy living, these are things I always wish for you. I will love you in style each year. Happy Father’s Day, dad and quick recovery.
Your beloved son,
Z. Mayul.
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